Tuesday, April 27

10 Weeks 1 Day

Time to Tell 2nd Level Relatives and Close Friends

On my 10th week and 1 day, we had 2 of our closest friends and my cousin over for dinner. We decided it was close enough to 12 weeks to tell them. Besides it's impossible to arrange a time for all 3 of these people to get together. The next time they're all free, I might have delivered by then!

We decided to tell them by putting the picture of the ultrasound on the fridge, along with the usual family pics, and see who notices the picture first. It took 2 hours before my cousin finally noticed, and only after my husband moved the picture right beside the fridge handle! She came into the dining room and quietly said to me "Ummm, you have a picture on your fridge..." I said "Uh huh?" She asked "Is it yours?!", this time louder and with more enthusiasm after hearing my response. I nodded and said "You're the first one to notice! About time!" My friend immediately ran into the kitchen to see what she had missed, and she came running back in with the picture in her hand to show it to her boyfriend. The hugs and screams of "congrats" began, and the questions "how did you find out? how far along are you, etc etc etc" began to flow.

As of 10 weeks and 1 day, I am less nauseous than the beginning of the pregnancy. I'm starting to eat better, but still find myself getting full pretty easily. My skin is still blotchy and bumpy (I keep asking myself "Why can't I be one of those women who have beautiful glowing clear skin during their pregnancy?" But of course, with my luck, I get a WORSE complexion). I even switched my face wash and moisturizer to a really neutral gentle brand recommended by dermatologists. I'm not seeing any results after 2 weeks of use. My boobs are hurting more, and getting larger and harder. Turning over onto my side while sleeping would make them hurt, so forcing me to wake up enough to mentally note this position is no good. I've also been getting up in the middle of the night to pee. I think it's more the fear of peeing in my bed that's forcing me to get up. But it's not a little trickle pee either. I'm also finding my urine is more yellow and stinkier the last week or so. I don't know the scientific explanation to that one.

I'm finding myself just restless these days. It's been about 7 weeks since I found out I was pregnant, and I feel like the last 7 weeks have been the slowest of my existence. I am waiting day-by-day for my first trimester to be complete, waiting for my OB appointment at 13 weeks 4 days. But I still have another 3 weeks for that to arrive. I'm waiting til I start showing. I'm waiting til I am far enough along to go nursery furniture shopping. I'm waiting til I can start maternity clothes shopping. I'm researching prenatal classes to take, but I'm waiting to take those later in the pregnancy. Seems like I am just waiting these days, and waiting is just about testing my patience. The fact that I'm not working definitely doesn't help with the space in between waiting. There's only so much housework and errands I can do before I find myself waiting again.

Isn't the 9 months of pregnancy supposed to fly by? I'm not finding that at all. I'm just going stir crazy.

Wednesday, April 21

7 Weeks 4 Days

Telling The Parentals

Most new parents-to-be don't want to spread the good news until after the first trimester. As we all new mom-to-be's know, right after seeing that positive pregnancy test, the next time we reach for is the computer and google "when can we tell people we're pregnant". And the resulting page searches all tell you that miscarriages happen most often in the first 12 weeks. And because there is still uncertainty as to why miscarriages happen, there is no tell-all sign that you are at risk for one (some say smoking/drinking may attribute to having a miscarriage). Since I'm neither a smoker or a drinker, my husband and I debated long and hard about when to call up the parentals and tell them the good news. We (well, I) decided to tell them once the ultrasound comes back with a good sighting of the tadpole and a heartbeat.

So after getting just that very ultrasound at my 7 weeks 4 days appointment, I went home after my appointment and logged into my computer. I scanned a copy of the ultrasound, and emailed it to my mom and sister, with a very simple paragraph saying "I know you've been busy lately, so here's a picture to cheer you up!" I attached the picture, and pressed Send. My sister, having received the email on her iPhone, emailed me back almost immediately saying "OH MY GOD ARE YOU PREGNANT??!!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!" It took my mom a little longer (that evening) to get the email and call me. As soon as I picked up the phone, she yelled into my ear like she was in the same room, "Are you really pregnant???!!!" I confirmed. And the congratulations began, stopping only a few seconds later to begin telling me what I can and cannot eat. What I can and cannot do.

My husband's parents' reactions were quite comical. My husband began the phone conversation asking both parents to be on the phone (which I'm sure aroused suspicion because he never talks to them both at the same time). He then started them talking about chinese names and how you come up with the right name for a baby. His parents explained the male lineage and how their family line uses a particular word for a boy and another one for a girl. Then my husband tells them "Well, however you come up with the name, you have about 8 months to come up with one."

There was not even a full one second pause before his father exclaimed "HUH??!! YOU'RE REALLY PREGNANT????" As my husband said yes, the mother started screaming into the phone... "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed longer than I could hold my breath! After the screaming came the happy tears. She was just so happy to hear this news, and it was so much fun to hear her reaction. I wish I had been there in person to see her scream!

The next 3 calls to the rest of his family (3 older sisters) were a little less eventful, although all were thrilled with the news. 2 of them already have kids of their own, so they know what the feeling is like. I got immediate offers of hand-me-down maternity wear, which I gladly accepted.

So far we are only telling immediate family. Aunts, uncles, and cousins do not know yet. We are waiting a few more weeks to tell the rest of the family. We are going to wait til after the first trimester to tell friends and colleagues. We plan on telling my cousin and 2 close friends by 10 weeks. It will be fun to see their reaction face to face.

Friday, April 16

7 Weeks 4 Days (for real this time)

How Can Something 1/3 the Size of a Capital "I" Have a Heartbeat?!

Ultrasound # (i lost count) finally arrived. Today I should be at the REAL 7 weeks, and there should be an embryo with a heartbeat inside me. We'll see. So the saying goes "I'll believe it when I see it."

Unfortunately on appointment day, my husband was away on business, so sadly he wasn't able to view the first possible heartbeat with me. I told him I would get a copy of the ultrasound picture and send it to him as soon as I got home.

My appointment time was at 10:30am. This time I got smart. Instead of waking up an hour before to flood my bladder with fluids, I decided just to sleep in until just before the appointment time. I skipped the morning trip to the toilet, keeping my bladder full with last night's liquids. This way I got another hour's worth of sleep, and I didn't have to force feed myself with water first thing in the morning.

I arrived at the appointment promptly. I was once again given a bunch of forms to take downstairs to the ultrasound room where I await for my name to be called. I stole a look at the forms again. Just like last time, the last piece of paper was the results of the last ultrasound. This time, to my delight, it said "Gestational sac seen." I'm hoping the good news continues.

They finally called my name and in I go for the pelvic ultrasound with the full bladder. Note to all ladies out there: your bladder doesn't have to be exploding for the ultrasound. Mine was not bursting at the seams, and they were able to complete the exam just fine. I went to empty my bladder and went back for the transvaginal ultrasound, the one that ultimately would show the embryo and, hopefully, heartbeat.

I laid back down on the table as the technician moved the intrusive device in and around me, trying to get all different angles I assume. After a few minutes of fidgeting, she paused to press some buttons on the machine, and continued fidgeting. Finally, she said "Everything looks good. There is a heartbeat. I will show you in a minute." I think I breathed the loudest sigh of relief without embarassing myself. I waited the long long minute for her to show me what she's seeing on the screen. She turned the screen towards me, and I propped myself up very awkwardly off the table to strain my neck to see. There it was on the screen. The gestational sac, the tiny little embryo, and a strange flashing white spot just to the right of the embryo's body. I asked the technician "Oh is that the heartbeat? That flashing light?" She said "Yes, it's at 135 bpm. That's good." I let my neck have some relief by lying back down on the table, and I actually fought the urge to cry, wishing my husband was here to see this with me. I asked the technician if I could have a copy of that image. She printed one out for me immediately. She finished up her exam, and I got dressed. As I left the room, she gave me the stapled piece of paper with my results on it to walk upstairs to my doctor. I was too distracted looking at my copy of the ultrasound to care about the stapled piece of paper.

I walked into my doctor's office and handed the paper to the receptionist, and took a seat to wait my turn to see the doctor. After about 15 minutes, she called me in. We sat down in her office and she congratulated me on getting pregnant, and that everything looked good. I should add at this point that this doctor is actually a fertility specialist. We were seeing her because we were having trouble conceiving naturally. We were on the verge of starting cycle monitoring when we surprisingly conceived successfully. Because she was the closest thing I had to an OB at this time, I continued to see her for these ultrasounds. But now that there is a pregnancy confirmed and a heartbeat, she told me to go see my family doctor to get a real referral to an OB who would take over my pre-natal care. And that's who exactly I went to see right after I left her office.

I drove straight to my family doctor's office. I hadn't seen her in over a year. If she saw me on the street, I don't think she would recognize me as her patient. But anyhow, I told her the good news and asked her for a referral to an OB in my neighborhood. I had done my research on the internet for some good OBs, and found a specific one i wanted to be referred to. She said she would get the paperwork started right away and they would call me once the appointment is set up.

In my meeting with the fertility doc to go over my ultrasound exam, I was at 7 weeks and 4 days of my pregnancy. However, the embryo measured in a 1cm, which corresponds to a 7 week 0 days gestation. I'm confused as to exactly how far along I am... 7 weeks 4 days or 7 weeks 0 days? But I suppose a few days here and there isn't that important. For my own satisfaction, I've been telling people 7 weeks 4 days just to put me a bit farther along. I already regressed a week from the last ultrasound. But from the expected due date, it seems to be calculated from the 7 weeks 0 days count.

Tomayto-tomahto.

Wednesday, April 14

7 Weeks 0 Days (or so I thought)

The Second Ultrasound

The day of my ultrasound finally arrived, and i woke up an hour early to drink enough water to get me the full bladder needed for the ultrasound. Since I was supposed to be in my 7th week, the ultrasound should show an embryo and a heartbeat. So my husband came with me to my 10:30am appointment. I got there on time, checked in, and waited for my name to be called. By 10:45am, I was ready to pee my pants right there in the waiting area in front of all the other expectant women and their husbands. My bladder was screaming to be relieved, and I almost wet myself when they finally called my name. I was given a bunch of forms and told to go downstairs to another room to await for the ultrasound. Great, my bladder said.

As I waited in the downstairs room for my name to be called, I flipped through the pieces of paper I was holding in my hand. I recognized one of the pages from my first ultrasound. It was the results that were stapled together that I couldn't see. This time the page wasn't stapled, and I could clearly read the results from my last ultrasound. One sentence jumped out at me, and it made my heart sink. "No gestational sac seen." I pointed it out to my husband, and he asked what that meant. I just shook my head and said "If I'm really that far along, they should have seen the sac last time."

They finally called me in. Once they did the full bladder ultrasound, I finally got permission to relief myself, and came back into the ultrasound room for the ever invasive transvaginal ultrasound. I wasn't sure what they were looking for exactly. But after a few minutes of poking and prodding, they said "You're still very early, so there isn't much to see. You'll need to come back next week for another ultrasound." My husband was undoubtedly disappointed that there was no heartbeat sighting. In fact, there didn't seem to be sighting of any kind.

The technician gave me a piece of paper that had my ultrasound results on it to bring upstairs to my doctor. Unfortunately the piece of paper was folded and stapled again. So I went up to my doctor's office and handed the receptionist the piece of paper, and waited for the doctor to see me.

More than 20 minutes later, the doctor finally came out to see me. She didn't even have a room where we could talk in private. She told me right there in the waiting room that I wasn't as far along as they expected. This time they did see the gestational sac, but no embryo inside. I guess they deduced from the measurement of the sac that I was in fact only 5 weeks and 6 days along, even though calculating from the first day of my last period, I should be at 7 weeks. However, I was diagnosed with PCOS, which means I don't ovulate regularly. And I definitely don't ovulate 14 days into my cycle. Given all these parameters, I am really at 5 weeks 6 days. It was like rewinding your life and going back in time. I thought the last week or so since I found out I was pregnant had gone by slowly. And now I'm regressing even more!

They scheduled me for another ultrasound a week and a half later on April 6th. Which should put me at the REAL 7 weeks (and 4 days). And by then, there should be a heartbeat to see.

6 Weeks (or so I thought)

The Symptoms Begin

So I had already gotten one of the common pregnancy symptoms... gas. As the days continue to tick by before my first ultrasound appointment, I was getting more symptoms. I never actually threw up, but I did get nauseated. And it would occur any time of day (as we all know, morning sickness is not restricted to mornings). I would also feel very full and bloated one minute, and the next I would be hungry. I found myself eating less at lunch and dinner times. My husband began to put less and less on my dinner plate, knowing I wouldn't be able to finish it all. I would eat a few bites, and then feel really full. And of course, there's the gas issue again. As unladylike as it sounds, I began to fart a lot more than usual, and I wasn't hiding either. My excuse: "I'm pregnant". I figure I would be able to get away with a lot using that excuse for the next 9 months.

On top of the gas, bloating, farting, nausea, and lack of appetite, I also got a few nosebleeds. Apparently nosebleeds are quite common for pregnant women. Sometime about the increase blood flow and dillating blood vessels. I don't know the medical reasons behind it, but I always got them in the morning as I was waking up. I launch myself out of bed as I feel a river of blood is ready to pour down my nose. I manage to grab a kleenex and shove it in place before the dam open up each time. The intensity of the nosebleed varied. The first time was fairly light, and the 2nd time was pretty light as well. I guess I'm lucky I get them at home and not in public. But it is no less annoying. Several websites say dabbing some vaseline just inside your nose may prevent these nosebleeds. Apparently this will prevent the mucous membrane from drying out and the blood vessel from bursting. Hey, if all I need to prevent the river of blood is to shove vaseline up my nose, get me a Q-tip.

And on a grosser note, another common symptom is bringing on another unfortunate side effect. Constipation... bringing on the unfortunate sight of hemorrhoids. I've had hemorrhoids pre-pregnancy, so the sight of blood during a bile movement doesn't freak me out, but I can see other new moms being a little wigged about seeing blood in your toilet bowl. Again, not dispensing any medical advice, hemorrhoids (as far as my research has taught me) is fairly normal in pregnancy. Albeit they are uncomfortable and sometimes painful, they're not a sign of miscarriage, as long as you are SURE where the blood is coming from when you wipe. If it's not your bowel movement that is causing the bleeding, go see your doctor immediately. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your point of view) it's definitely hemmorrhoids for me. And the only remedy I use that really works is to eat more green leafy vegetables to help the bowels along. I have definitely felt a bit "backed up" since finding out I'm with child. Eating more fruits and veggies is not only healthy for the baby, it will make your bowels happier. And hence, less hemorrhoids and surprises in the toilet bowl.

5 Weeks 5 Days (or so I thought)

Oh Good, I'm Stilll Pregnant

So after that cramping scare, I went back 2 days after the initial blood test for another blood test to ensure my hCG hormone levels were elevating as expected. Waiting a simple 2 days might sound easy, but by the end of the 2 days (especially after the scare), I had convinced myself that I was no longer pregnant, and that it had just magically disappeared. So on the morning of my appointment, even before I even left the house, I decided to put my own mind at ease by peeing on another stick. Oh good, the double lines were still there.

I went to my appointment a big more at ease. I got to the clinic by 9:30am. They told me to get there by 9:30 at the latest to ensure same day results. In addition to getting the blood tests done, I was also told to arrive with a full bladder for an ultrasound. Now, at this point, I was really early in the pregnancy, so I had no idea what they were looking for or if there's even anything to see with ultrasound. But after my blood was drawn, I had a pelvic ultrasound (with the full bladder) and a transvaginal ultrasound (thankfully after I emptied my bladder). I was given a piece of paper after the exam to walk up to my doctor's office to drop off. I handed it to the receptionist and was told they will call me later.

By around 2pm, the clinic called and confirmed my hormone levels were elevating properly, and that the early ultrasounds showed nothing to be concerned about (I didn't ask if they saw anything at all). They wanted to see me for a 7-week ultrasound, so they booked me in on March 26, which would be put me at exactly 7 weeks.

5 Weeks 4 Days (or so I thought)

A Bit of a Scare

Less than 18 hours after my first positive pregnancy test, I woke up in the middle of the night at 3am with terrible pelvic cramps. Now if I hadn't just found out I was pregnant, it wouldn't have been a cause for concern. But of course, that perspective changed with the double lines. I got up to go to the bathroom, hoping that would eleviate the pain. But once I finished peeing the pain seemed to get worse. I crawled back into bed curled up in a fetal position with my hands pressing on my pelvic area, doubled over in pain. I wondered briefly if this was what labour pain was like. Not wanting to wake up my husband just yet, I went downstairs to the kitchen (I wasn't sure how walking down a flight of stairs would help the pain). The pain was still there, intense stabbing pain. This had been going on for about 10-15 minutes now. Now I was starting to get scared. I checked right there in the middle of my kitchen if I was bleeding. I wasn't. I couldn't take the pain anymore, but I also didn't want to take anything like Advil. I had no idea what was safe to take for a pregnant woman.

I suddenly remembered that my brother-in-law (who lives in Edmonton) is a night owl, and even thought it was 1am there right now, he would probably still be awake. And more importantly, he is an ER doctor. I called my sister's home number and luckily Dave answered after the first ring. At that point we hadn't told anyone in our family that I was pregnant, but the ER doctor needed the correct information to make a diagnosis, so I told I had just found out i was pregnant yesterday, and I woke up with stabbing pelvic pains. I must have sounded really bad on the phone, because he told me to go to the ER to get checked out. He said he didn't think it was a miscarriage since there was no bleeding, but it's safer to get the pain checked out. And with that, I went back upstairs to wake up my husband to take me to the ER (less than 5 minute drive away).

By the time we got dressed to leave for the hospital, the pain had subsided to a dull ache. And by the time we got to the hospital and checked in a triage, the pain was gone completely. But I felt it was important to find out what the pain was even though it wasn't there anymore.

In the end, the ER doctor concluded that it was gastric pain, and nothing to be concerned about. When she examined me, she said the pain seemed to have moved to my abdomen and stomach area. From that she concluded it was gas pains. After waiting in the ER for 3 hours, I find out all I have to do to relief the pain is to fart. I felt bad for making my husband wake up at 3am for gas, but hey, how was I supposed to know?! I guess that's a lesson for first time moms.

I am not passing along any medical advice in my blog. In fact, if you feel anything is wrong at all, go see a doctor. I thought the intense pain warranted a visit to the ER, and in the end I'm glad I went. But at the same time, I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me it was just gas.

5 Weeks 3 Days (or so I thought)

Blood is Thicker Than... Pee

I called the doctor the next morning at 10am to report my double line test result. They asked me to come in immediately for a blood test to confirm the result. Luckily I live not a 5-minute drive from her clinic. So I went in right after hanging up with the receptionist and got the blood test done. By noon, the clinic called me with the blood test result. "Congratulations!" she said. The blood test confirms the pregnancy test. I was told that the hCG hormone is expected to double in the next 48 hours. So I was asked to come back on Wednesday for another blood test to ensure the hormone level is progressing as expected to support the pregnancy.

I spent the majority of that Monday afternoon googling pregnancies. Yes, we were trying, but I still didn't have a full grasp of the whole pregnancy thing and how it really works. How does 9 months equate to 40 weeks? When does your first trimester start and end? What is a mucous plug?! I decided it was about time to start educating myself so there are less surprises later.

I realized that afternoon that your due date is determined from the first day of your last period. In my case, that would put me at 5 weeks and 3 days into my pregnancy. At this point, I had no symptoms, other than a missed period.

5 Weeks 2 Days (or so I thought)

My life is about to change

Seeing that positive pregnancy test really is surreal. I woke up the Sunday morning of March 14, 2010. I knew that I was supposed to get my period that morning, and as I lay in bed, I debated with myself whether or not I would take the test if I didn't get my period overnight. My debate with myself went something like this:

"Do I really want to take the test, and have it be negative once again, and I've burst yet another bubble? It's barely 10am."

"On the other hand, if I don't take the test now, I'll be wondering for the entire day 'What if... what if... what if..."

"I could just wait til tonight to take it. My period could just be a tad late. It might come during the day later."

"Oh just take it already. If it's negative, it's negative. Life goes on. Try again next month."

"Then again, I'm really sure it's going to be positive..."

And with that last thought, I launched myself out of bed and straight into the bathroom. I've peed on the stick twice before, and twice before the lines I wanted to appear did not appear. So this time as I sat on the toilet looking down at the floor at my pee stick, I waited for the seconds to tick by and the pee creep up on the stick past the results window.

After about 20 seconds, double lines appeared in the results window. I stared at the double lines (still on the toilet) for another 30 or so seconds, wanting to believe what was sitting in front of me but afraid I was reading the instructions wrong. Does double line REALLY mean positive? Maybe one of the double lines is the control line? Wait, there are THREE lines if I include the control line?

After realizing my legs were starting to fall asleep from my sitting position, I got up, washed my hands, and looked at the test one more time, hoping the change to a standing position would clear my head enough to read simple instructions properly. I started to smile when I realized the lines that I wanted to appear really were there. And realization that my life is about to change. And finally, exhillation as I ran from the bathroom to my sleeping husband to shove the stick in front of his face. Once he figured out what he was looking at and what the lines meant, his eyes widened and he hoisted his arms up above his head (still lying down in bed) like he was hoisting the Stanley Cup. I guess in a way, it IS victory.